MOM

Mommy,
     I missed you, I'm always missing you. Until now, I don't know how to live my life without you.
Until now, I am still learning it how.

09-16-2013

I am sorry, I am ashamed

I love you, I hate you

I missed you.

Those are the words that doesn't rhyme nor match the lyrics of my music.

09-16-2013

I really hate people who are causing my emotional stress. It's hard to retrieve the lost silence of my silent soundless music. My mind says: " just cry, scream, shout", but I can't, cause I'm afraid. I don't want people around me to see crying, I want them to see me strong and brave, laughing and playing around. I am afraid and ashamed to show them my weakness. I want to learn from myself and challenge my limitation.

09-16-2013

I really feel so sad, empty and lonely right now for no reason. There's a lot of things that comes in my mind that I can't accommodate at once. It's really hard to feel this way when you are away from your family. I badly don't know how to express my feelings right. I feel like there is something inside my heart that I want to spill out. I badly unable to control what I feel, but I want to keep it myself. I know I have a great mind to fight my psycho enemy that runs through my mind and disturbing my emotion.

for you mom

its been 11 years, but still i wasn't felt it was too long years ago. it was just like yesterday. happy birthday mom... i love you...